I woke up this morning with the sun burning through my skylight.
In my delicate state (having had 3 hours sleep/copious Vodka Redbulls/Jagerbombs the night before) I outstretched an unsteady hand towards my ringing phone. The next 10 minutes invoved me desperately attemting to appear fresh as a daisy whilst simoultaniously performing a monologue regarding child welfare to the lady on the line. Shockingly this is not my normal morning routine however since i recently returned to London from living in Tokyo, i will take any form of employment i can get. This telephone interview and casual roleplay was infact to be the most productive part of my day. (obviously appart from starting this blog)
Since i have spent my morning attempting to gain employment in a field i have little to no interest in i figured it may be time for a change.
However before i move forward i just want to take a look back at a few important events that led to this point.
So I have been working out in Japan for the last 8 months. Whilst in Tokyo I met a boy and fell in LOVE. Now i must warn you this is not going to be a romanticised account of two western males meeting in a strange land. Oh no, this is merely a quick note on instinct and stupidity. It is how i realised that maybe for the most part i am a horrible judge of character and try as i might… a hopless and foolish romantic.
I feel like once you place the label of ‘Love’ on any situation problems may arrise. With that word comes expectation and responsibility. Now without going into to much detail my relationship was volitile. Boy could we argue, but that was part of what made us great together. We were both so headstrong that when we faught the room shook. On the reverse of this lying next to him and just being around him is one of the nicest experiences i had out there.
Uppon my return to the UK we were unsure of our future together (he was to stay in japan for another 3 months and was also Australian). But soon after we decided to be together with the intension of him moving to London for his career and i hoped for me. Im now a month down the line and well… events didn’t pan out as well as i had planned. unfortunately the relationship has come to an end and not a very nice one. I have been left feeling lied to and betrayed and i guess embarassed.
The video attatched is one i took of London. It’s my favorite parts of this beautiful city and i wanted to share that with him. This gift is still finding its way accross the world thanks to the reliability of the great British Post service. So he will soon recieve this however due to the circumstances of the breakup it will have no meaning any more.
I have named my blog after this video to remind myself to trust my instincts when i have doubts. To not give to much to a person that has yet to prove they are 100% commited to you. and to also not be embarassed by what has happened as all you did was care for someone who didn’t deserve it.
Now i promise this is the most sappy thing i will ever write!