As the final pieces of confetti and Glitter floated to the floor, the room was ablaze with euphoric screams and joyous cheers. This evening had proven to be one of sheer pleasure and entertainment. It was a chance to look back at the music that had acted as a soundtrack to such an important stage in my life…
So last night, I was lucky enough to be taken by a friend to see ‘The Scissor Sisters’…
…Now if you don’t know who they are, they are a four-piece modern day Glam Rock, Disco, Flamboyantly Gay, Electro band.
Growing up I always knew I wasn’t exactly ‘Normal’. I always seemed to be a little different to all the other boys in class. I have an older brother that is very much my polar opposite. And for a great chunk of my life (even to this day) we don’t exactly get along. You see growing up all teenagers have their own stuff to deal with, be it weight, skin issues, weird body hair, confusing emotions or in my case the fact that I really wanted to kiss boys.
For the longest time I was very much ashamed of this. Each day was plagued with feelings of guilt. I spent a great deal of time on my own, as I thought that the more people saw and spoke to me the more likely it was they would find out. I have great sympathy for people dealing with this as for some reason its still an issue. I could write an entire article on the ridiculousness of modern day beliefs and quote idiotic politicians and religious groups that still cite out dated ramblings as categorical fact. But I choose not to.
The reason why I mention all this is to give you an idea of the emotional place I was in at the age of about 16. High School was coming to an end and I was moving to a new city later in the year to start full time dance training were I was sure I would be able to be myself. I just wanted to run half a year into the future and start my new life but I was still confined into my repressed existence.
One day I was casually strolling around the entertainment section of my local supermarket whilst my mother did her weekly shop. I had ten pounds in my pocket and as would become a continuous character trait I needed to spend it! I skimmed over the large collection of CD’s until one caught my eye. It was a group I had never heard of before. The cover art was a luscious contrast of nature and industry. It portrayed a woman walking through a dense over grown forest through a circular doorway towards the bright lights of a big city. I still to this day have no idea why I bought this Album. I had never heard a track but I knew that wherever this woman going was definitely the direction I wanted to be heading in.
The Scissor Sisters album had been purchased.
When I got home I immersed myself in their world, I read the sleeve of the album start to finish over and over as the inspirational electro beat cleansed my soul. Every song on this album spoke to me. With tracks like ‘Tits on the Radio’, ‘Return to Oz’ and ‘Filthy Gorgeous’ I had inadvertently sought out a slice of gay culture and eventually gay musical history.
Although I will freely admit that my dedication towards the group has lapsed in recent years. I always held a special place for them in my heart. Last night was truly magical. I got to hear all the songs that had been so vital to me at such a difficult time, I got to bask in nostalgia and smile at the thought of how far I had come since my days as a painfully shy teenager.
As I looked around at the crowd, I saw a sea of Gay men. Young and old screaming out for more… I thought about all these young men as children and what they probably went through to be here today. So to anyone who is reading this and is struggling with this process. I promise you, just last night I saw a thousand smiling gay men. Life definitely gets better.