Sometimes I have to pinch myself. A phrase that is over used. But it’s true.
Its been nearly a year since I first wrote down my thoughts and released them into the world for public observation. In recent months I have shrugged off my commitments to the written word and opted to simply delve into my life without trying to dissect and analyze every painful moment.
I began to write as an outlet for the pain I was feeling. I was unhappy with the direction my life was heading in. My career seemed to be at a standstill and I was suffocating in a relationship that would tear my life apart.
And that’s it.
The last time I will write about my previous pain. This is a blog on love and happiness. That is how I choose to live my life now. And I am. Truly, Truly, Happy.
I’m currently lying here at the end of three months of consistent work as a performer. I have been so lucky to gain recent opportunities and by all accounts my next year looks incredibly positive and productive. I feel like I have hit a turning point in my career and that things may slowly start to fall into place…
Now for the best bit…
I met someone. And not your run of the mill ‘casual date’ or ‘see how things are going’. I mean I really met someone. Love. And I know I seem to throw that word around a lot. But that’s what this feels like.
You see, I was done. Completely over everything. I didn’t want to meet anyone. I didn’t want to date. I just wanted to be happy. I was searching for something but I didn’t quite know what it was. One night I had enough of all my stress and decided to go out. I wanted to party and just have some fun. I wanted to go and kiss strange boys and probably have a drunken one-night stand that would make me feel a bit better.
That night I met him. Just like a movie. Eyes locked across the crowded bar. And even though we got separated throughout the night and changed to multiple locations and venues, we just kept meeting. The next thing you know the drinks are pouring and we were kissing.
We called a taxi and went back to my house. And it was done. Of course I’m sure you can imagine we didn’t go back and play connect four or a quick round of speed Souduku, but that wasn’t the best part. Afterwards we spoke for hours, as if we had known each other our whole lives. He told me a story…
This time last year he found a lump. His doctor told him that it was cancer. He had surgery and chemo and now he’s in remission. My eyes welled up as he told me how he had not told any family members over Christmas as he didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s celebration. This boy looked at me with the nicest eyes, he was gentle and calm. He had been through so much and come out the other side oozing positive energy and with the inspiration to change his life.
We bonded instantly over our desire to better ourselves and make our dreams a reality. The next day we spent together. We laughed and joked and he met my friends and just.. well… fit. It was kind of like this person was meant to be here all along and I had just found him.
Now I’m sure at the time I just fancied him and I’m completely over dramatizing the events based on how I feel now. But that’s my point. We are three and a half months down the line and I still see those sweet eyes, that caring nature and that willingness to compromise. To this day we have not argued. Of course, we have moments of frustration. However we have never raised our voices or lost our temper, we don’t need to. We are on the same side. Us against the world.
I now look at life and just think things could be so much worse. A year ago we were both miserable and in dark places in our lives. We both now wake up every day happy.
Whatever has happened before. This is a new chapter. I will now write about love. I will write about happiness.
I have learned so much in one year it’s almost unbelievable. I’m so thankfull for every piece of heartache and pain because it has lead me to the most gleeful state I have felt in years. Roll on 2014.
My year. Our Year.